Dark Poem

It always hurts with desolate thoughts
In the unwanted hours.
1:27 and rain on pain of glass
That patters gently on untimely despair
You think that I am fine like you
In this pregnant psychosis, but I am not cold
Like the frosted night solidifying exactitude of
1:30 time when you are not mine,
Just angry and a little bitter
Cruelty cares less if you are not
Beside me curled and warm
So that I am safe in enveloping you-ness.
1:33 and I am cross with foul loss
This broken mood passes with rising light
Love confusing truth with me as it
Slips from my mind and nothing is
Remembered but the mask of
Sleep.



Music- None.

xxx

Poetry Of A Bad Week

Death Day

There was cruel unorthodox hope
In bright brilliant sunshine
Incongruent, at war,
With your strong sadness
Beating at the too-early Spring
Imperfect memories of a human
Who you loved all the same
I gave chicken broth and
Felt like a failure even though
It was enough, simply
Not beautiful happiness.
Funeral day was cold
Pure snow and dead fields of empty life
Turned to rain slush smoke
On fragile breath meeting air
Three red flowers, daisies,
For all your bravery.
A struggling catharsis because
These words won’t work and my heart
Is breaking.

Baise-Moi

Mine are the frail soft dreams lost inside
Wasted on desolate indignant rage
Full to brim of endless white pain of
Abstract and ungraspable missing you
Stuck silent within my shell of sex
Pale female curves sumptuous and greedy
Fed by framework of bones teeth lips
And tears from demoniacal green lagoons
Desiring to breed bulging impotent envy
From clownish mouth that screams in darkness
To eat from cup of flesh as we fuck our fears away
Fingers of exquisite violence deeply barely
Touching though of course you never did
Make me come to you through pounding
Rhythms of undesigned and accidental lies
Leaving unsatisfied minds utterly alone in
Ruined ugly perfect dignity surrendered at
Failure of you to say anything at all but absolutely
Nothing which was the secret shy image of
A private scared soul forever not mine to reach
Afraid of- what?


Music- Kings Of Leon- Charmer

xxx

A Little Pain And Resentment

These are the moments when we discover who is most precious.

I have rarely felt more loved than now; when you have ripped the last bit of dignity from me, they will be there to pick up the pieces of my rage, and console my tears with Haagen-Daaz and promises of hazy nights. You will not effect me so deeply, for I am as strong as our collective force, which is more than the care you failed to give.

I will buy myself some taxidermy in the form of miniature antlers from The Last Tuesday Society Shop in order to cheer myself up. And maybe another piercing.

Music- Erik Satie- Gnossienne No1

xxx