(Not So) Wedded Bliss

I have just read an article in the Sunday Times supplement Style (a normally sensible and witty magazine) on 'modern' marriage. And frankly, I am disgusted. The piece featured several categories of 'ideal' wife that, apparently, have become en vogue in the last year. Wife is in. Each section detailed what made that particular mode of wife so great, all involving personality traits such as "supportive" and roles such as "inspiration". The article suggested that women who side tracked their own career or personal aspirations in favour of their husband's had, somehow, given themselves greater fulfillment than if they had achieved their own dreams, rather than their man's. There was even one category which praised women who had sucked in their pride and dignity to stay with their partners through repeated infidelities and were better off for it. This, it is said, is called 'compromise'. Is it? I would have thought this sounded more like emotional vulnerability and unecessary self-sacrifice. I understand that, to make any relationship work, there has to be some level of give to accomodate the other person in your life, but not to the extent where your whole self is lost to coupledom. Style poses no objections to such action; "The strong, right, image-enhancing thing to do is to stand by your man and quietly, steadily make it work".

And I thought we had passed all that with our beehives and the swinging sixties.

I may not be the biggest advocate for marriage (feeling that it is an outdated institution which many just go into for the 'Big Day', forgetting that life with the other person lies beyond the frosting and bridal couture), but I am not anti-relationship. I have been with someone long term and, while it ended in tears, we are now good friends and I wouldn't have said "no" to the three years together even if someone had told me on day one how things would pan out. The bond and intimacy you have with the other person is probably one of the best things you will ever experience as a human being.

So why go and destroy that with the 'man and wife' imagery that marriage, even now, seems to suggest? Why not show a little reservation with the three most overused words in society today and make "I love you" your vow for the long-term and the foundation upon which you stay together. In my opinion, love is a better reason to work at a relationship than simply the fact that you are married.


Christmas and New Year blog coming soon with photos from my new Samsung P1000 camera that Santa brought. :)

N.B.- Failed to find a suitable fur muff anywhere so purchased an adorable fur cape instead for retro warmth in the new year.

Music- Brokencyde- Freaxxx

xxx